So I'm sitting here at Alex's Uncle's computer, waiting for everyone to get up and get themselves together. We gotta pack our stuff back up, get breakfast, load up the car then hit the road to Rockford to see Stevie. Alex and Stevie have plans to trip, and I was supposed to be in on this plan, but I have decided not to. I think I still would if it didn't last 8 hours plus... meh.

Yesterday we drove all over Chicago in the convertible with the top down. The weather was really great - no clouds, bright and sunny... Perfect for seeing the Bean! After that we had to go to a cell phone shop so Alex could try and fix his uncle's phone. :-P Riding the L came next, then we walked the Magnificent Mile and took a bunch of night pictures. Saw the water tower, which was the only thing left of Chicago when it burned because it wasn't made of wood... then deep dish pizza! Oh man it was so delicious! Mmmmm I wish I could have some more of it for breakfast... anyway, Alex tells me that everyone is up...? Time to blow this popsicle stand, or at least turn the heat on so it can start melting.

Hungry!

Perfect!


Chillin' in the graveyard at Keith's place!


Random awesome party photo from Luke's party.

So Halloween was fucking epic this year. It certainly made up for last year's uneventfulness. Friday I went to Luke's party and got somewhat trashed. Chase said I passed out leaning on him for about 20-40 minutes. I almost vomited, but thankfully Chase stood outside with me away from the crowd until I felt better. Stupid jello shots... I think my stomach digested the jello all at once sending a nice rush of alcohol into my system. There was also a trampoline involved. I am so surprised I did not throw up! :-D It was a good thing Jared rode with me because when the party ended I definitely couldn't drive and he was sober at that point. Saturday, Halloween, I attended 3 parties and then ended up at Ground Kontrol with Alex and Derick. We were on our way to party number 4, Megan's party, when she called saying that everyone had gone home and unless we were close by we shouldn't come anymore. :-( Oh well. Must do something fun with Megan sometime though! Ground Kontrol was awesome though. Derick and I played Area 51 for what seemed like forever. Man my arm was hurting from that... we also tag teamed Discs of Tron, Ninja Turtles and Ghosts n Goblins. While we were finding parking, we saw another Beetlejuice and Lydia! Our costumes were much better quality though, IMO. The night ended at Alex's with us watching Evil Dead and enjoying some tree rape and dismemberment. lawlz.

I am Lydia from Beetlejuice and my buddy Derick is Beetlejuice! Both costumes fully constructed from scratch and full of awesome! I'm actually finishing up some of it now. I just gotta run in to Bishop's or something and get my bangs trimmed today before Luke's party. Then I can spend the rest of my day on hair and makeup.

Heh, I never use the writer's block thing, but today it looked good.

So as we all know now, I broke up with Jordan. Every time people ask why, I can't really give them a good answer. I just needed to. I did way too much hopping from one boyfriend to the next to the next. I need to just be single and alone for a while. No relationships for me, not now. A lot of you may not understand this, but I do. At first I wasn't so sure I had made the right decision and it did hit me hard, but now I think I'm on the right path. I had some issues with Jordan that I just couldn't really talk about. It wasn't the he annoyed me, but more that I was drowning in his problems. I know I need someone who is independent and has a life outside of me. I think we are really in different places and I'm not sure if this would be different if we weren't.

Now, the topic of friends. I have made many a new and awesome friend lately. And I have also felt more detached from close friends. More specifically Jen... :-/ I'm not quite sure what to say about it, but I guess I expected a more supportive reaction from her. I know she was sick and all, but damn. At least Keith asked me how I was and if I was ok. Not that I'm comparing her to Keith... but you know, I decided to tell Jen that I went on a date and was met with criticism. Ok, so I went on a date. I'm allowed to date! I said no relationships, but dates are fine. And I had a great time. (This was, by no means, the reason behind the break-up, I can assure you this. This all started ocurring post-break.) I thought I might share my good time with Jen, since she has met this guy before, but all she could really say was that she didn't think he was my type. First of all, I don't have much of a "type," and second of all, if I did have a type it would geeks. Anyways! The way I was just brushed off really struck a cord, and then I get this mini-speach about how she "doesn't get it." She says, "I'm a relationship girl, always have been. I guess I don't understand." So what!? Maybe that's what you are, but that doesn't mean that everyone else is, or that everyone else has to be just like you. It's good to have diversity amongst friends! So you liked Jordan, everyone did, especially my mom. Lord, the look my mom gave me when she found out... another story! I'm glad that you want to maintain a friendship with Jordan, but don't forget about your friendship with me. Maybe you don't understand my reasons, but you could at least support my decision and be happy for me. This is the first time in a long time that I made a break-up decision that wasn't based on me wanting to step right into something new or because I had been hurt terribly by the guy. This is my real time to heal, and I need it. I really need it. If you can't handle that, then GTFO mon ami.

And now Jordan, again. Things have been weird (naturally), but I know he'll be ok eventually. I'm glad to see that he is actually getting out and making friends. I am leaving all decisions of whether or not to see me or hang out with me up to him. Sometimes he wants to and things seem fine enough, but then it turns the other way. I can handle that, I can. What I can't and do not want to handle are angry comments and desperation. Take saturday night as a starter. He texts me asking if I was going to be at Out-a-bounds, I tell him I have other plans. He was invited out by Jen and went with her and Kate and Kaya. I received no such invite, so why would I be there? Monday Jordan texts me in a mood. Starts complaining about how we don't hang out... but hello, you haven't asked me to hang out! This turned into a "Why do I bother, it's not going to make a difference." I understand he might be angry with me, but I just don't want to hear it. I don't want the criticism. I feel bad enough that I hurt someone, I don't need you to make me feel worse. Any of you. And if you give me crap about how I'm "busy" you can just shove it. Guess what, I AM BUSY. I make plans and I get booked up. If you don't get in there before that happens, you're out of luck.

Lastly, my harem. This is the weird part about being single. Once I'm single, people want me, and they let me know this. It's kind of unsettling sometimes. Especially when it's an ex from 5 years ago saying that I'm the one thing he regrets doing wrong. Or the other ex just wanting to have some fun. This does not include all the random people who suddenly have confidence to try and touch my leg or what have you. I'm all for flirting, but damn. It's a little overwhelming. I'm not sure if it's because of some phobia about being touched by people I don't know, or if it's just because I don't quite understand why they want me. It sounds strange coming from me, since I seem so confidant all the time, but I'm more insecure than people think. I know I'm awesome and all, but I don't always understand why people like me beyond that. Does that make sense? Sometimes I understand it, other times I just don't.

Meh... I need to get up and get dressed so I can carve my pumpkins before going out tonight. Until next post, same Heather time, same Heather channel!

One hour left in the day to wish Derick a happy birthday!!! Heehee... So yeah, Happy Birthday to Beetlejuice from Lydia. :-P

Life has become a series of status updates. This is what Facebook does to you. It seems I have become uncomfortable writing on here, mostly because there are select people reading that I don't want to upset. I am going to stop caring. My journal, my thoughts... if you don't like it then GTFO. I'm starting to feel like a shut-in because I don't talk to anyone about what's going on with me. A sentence or two just doesn't do my feelings justice. I feel like I have slipped away and now I don't know how to talk about things that matter. *sigh*

This changes. This is your warning. Matters of the heart start after this.

[Insert heartfelt, thoughtful post about my feelings here.]

Yeah, that's really all I got right now. Sorry folks!

In other news, went to the pumpkin patch today! I think I will try and carve my Domo pumpkins on Thursday night after work if anyone wants to help out. Also saw Paranormal Activity. It was entertaining and overall I think I liked it, but so not what I was expecting.

I'm really excited to go to the Children's Museum tomorrow with Damien and my mom and Bree. Curiosity over what the place is like today has plagued me since my childhood. I used to love that place so much. My favorite part was the mock grocery store where you could play as a shopper or a store keeper. Perhaps a bit ironic considering I work at Fred Meyer. Plus I really want to spend more quality time with the nephew, especially since I had to miss his birthday party on Sunday. Better make sure my battery is charged for my camera!

Not much longer til Chicago... soooo need a vacation... I also really need to remember to go and buy tickets for They Might Be Giants!

About to see Paranormal Activity. It's debunking time! lawlz

This is only a test.

Wednesday I have a meeting/tour at Aveda and then afterward I think I will go laptop shopping. Anyone free that might wanna come? You may have to come to both... I'm probably just gonna stop at Best Buy on my way home and take a look at what they have and the prices.

Also, I seem to have started a texting word association game with my new buddy Adam from Saturday night. It has been very entertaining thus far... and damn do I feel clever!

Also also, wtf, why am I so annoyed with every little thing lately? This shit gets to your head eventually.

Oh October, how I love thee... Your days are still warm and sunny but your nights are blankets and cuddly.

I've been over to Hawthorne a couple times in the last few days and scored major both times. First time I got an awesome snowboarding coat for $18 and a pair of Tripp pink plaid capris for $10 at Buffalo Exchange. I also got a great deal on a zebra print mini skirt at Naked City (30 marked down from 50) and managed to replace my fuzzy pink cat hat with a new, slightly better one from the Metro. The old one was getting so dingy and dirty and the new one is actually cut different so it fits better and the ears are bigger and more noticeable. :-P

Today I scored bigtime on dollar cds. Stereogram is some cool shit. Also found a Goops cd and a Treble Charger cd I didn't have. Note to self, make Keith burn me new copy of Treble Charger cd that was stolen from my car last winter. I think I should spend a chunk of time tomorrow listening to all the cds I bought on a whim cause they looked interesting. Maybe I will find something as awesome as the Groovie Ghoulies (also a dollar find).

Tomorrow I really need to take care of things... like my room, which got all messed up in the great tornado of Heather searching for a missing hair clip last week. Laundry is up high on the list too. Hmm I could go in to Freddies tomorrow and get free lunch...

I have decided that with this year's tax return I am going to buy a pink DSi. That and either set aside a good chunk of money towards a new laptop or just buy a new laptop right away. I need one pretty bad... this one sucks balls these days. I have had it so long now and it has been used so much... I have even worn through the finish and created a dent on the mouse clicker! I'm thinking something super cheap but still good quality. Something I could get 2 to 3 years out of, if not longer. Any recommendations? No Vista, I don't want it to have even touched the laptop...

WHY IS MYSPACE SO FUCKING RETARDED?!?!?!?!?! Goddamn you, Internet, why must you piss me off like this?? Now my finger hurts from slapping my laptop. No wonder it's dying on me!

I'm hungry and frustrated and I have problems I am not sure I will ever understand. BIG FAT FUCKING SIGH. Why can't I just make sense out of this nonsense?

Trip the light fantastic!

Maybe all those hippies were right with the whole free love thing... Let your love loose, let it fly, let is soar! Send it up to space in a rocket and watch it break the atmosphere. Climb a mountain, swim the seas, do whatever you goddamn please. Take me up, take me down, I've been all around. Found my way to that one but when all is said and done..... Well, I guess that means there isn't anything left to say!

ha.

But really, follow the link up top, stare into oblivion, wander through all of space and time, then come back and tell me a tale.

There are crumbs on my bed, time to let the pillow hit my head. I snooze, maybe I lose, but what did I choose?

Anyone else remember when I used to end every journal entry with "Same Heather time, same Heather channel"? I doubt it.

My laptop may actually be fucked. I might need to get a new hard drive for it, which will be considerably cheaper than a whole new laptop. Maybe with next year's tax return I will buy a new cheap laptop, because by then they won't come with Vista anymore! Gonna see if Jen can give more life to this one for the time being though.

Also... I miss fun. I wanna go out more and do more exciting things again. I'm sick of sitting at home all the time! I'm sick of "I'm too tired, sorry, can't come out with you..." Even if you have to work early, that doesn't mean you can't indulge every now and then and just have some fun!

So I'm sitting here on the intarwebz and hear my cat whining. It sounds like he's on the roof so I get up to check, since he likes to come to my window and whine for me to come get him down. Well, he wasn't on the roof... yet! He was on top of the bears and I was like, "No! Don't jump on the roof! Don't do it!" and then he jumps on the roof. He gets stuck up there because he either can't remember how to get down or he is too afraid to get down on his own. *shakes head*

Now he's at my window and won't shut up.

Google adsense on LJ... make money by displaying ads on my journal? Damn this is tempting, but I know ads would be really annoying... I wonder what sort of profit it would end up being...

Gotta buy plane tickets real soon for Chicago. I'm excited to go but not excited to be spending a lot of money. Need to talk to bank. I'm at the point where I'm so stressed about money that I'm not so sure I should go on this trip anymore! I could really use the money I set aside for the plane ticket to get stuff fixed on my car... I hope this works itself out!

Why do I stay up so late when I have to work at 10 am??

I had some inspiration today while filling some bulk bins at work to make soup with red lentils... I'm thinking of starting from scratch like I do with most other things and just throwing in a bunch of veggies, broth, etc. I'm undecided though... Stacy should be coming over tomorrow too so who knows. Gonna clean out my closet some for a garage sale!

Tonight though... I kinda want to do something fun. Maybe I will call up a couple people and see if they want to go out. Anyone up for karaoke? Yeah yeah we are all broke I know, but whoever said you had to buy a lot of drinks?

10-hour day at work today... They said I could put in as much overtime as I wanted! But yeah, I am TIRED oh man. A couple weeks from now I will be getting a record low on my scheduled hours - 21. Thankfully Shannon called the store and I am picking up an extra 12 hours at Hollywood doing freight!

I want ice cream, but my mom ate the last of mine last night. I wish I could afford to have my own place... That won't happen until I can get myself through beauty school and snag a job at a salon that will hopefully pay better. Or maybe I should do what these damn Education Connection commercials keep telling me to do - get connected for free (free!). I see that commercial way too much. I can even sing the whole thing at random!

"I was working for an hourly wage. Went to high school didn't do great... still i gotta make more cash, more education is what I'm lookin at. When I get a degree I will make a bigger salary.........." *facepalm*

I need to go to bed...

Go to bed, Heather! I'm actually pretty tired and I have to be at work at 10... I spend way too much time playing games on facebook. I seem to have settled into an evening routine when I am at home. Make food and play Sorority Life, Fish World, Yoville all night. I get pretty excited when How Clean is Your House comes on BBCA (usually 1 or 2 for an hour) then I sometimes go to bed after that. It passes the time, but it's monotonous. I should be reading or watching a movie instead of being crouched over my laptop until my back hurts.

Also, too many dead celebrities in one year! It's the apocalypse OMG!

I love coming home to find broken glass all over my bedroom floor and my bed SOAKED with water. *SARCASM* Damn that Princess Leia! Luckily I have an extra pillow I can use while my normal one dries out. I'm settling for laying a towel down on the wet corner since there's nothing I can do about it. At least it wasn't milk this time! Maybe the glass wouldn't have broken if I didn't still have that hammer in my room, I think it landed right on it.

The beach was fun. Pascual and Sara seemed very impressed with the west coast. It was such a beautiful day, the view from the Astor Column was perfect. I got pretty addicted to this block game at the arcade in Seaside and got a bunch of tickets. Five dollars on games resulted in a lei, 2 packets of Fun Dip and some hot pink plastic teeth. heh.

Ugh, I hate Kidz Bop commercials. I hate the concept of Kidz Bop. What's wrong with letting your kids listen to regular music? I need to go to bed before I see too many more late-night ads...

I love haircuts... back to semi-regular bangs for a while I think! Plus I am enjoying the extra daytime hanging out with Stacy that we've been doing lately. It was also good to talk to Terri about the world of hair design. Now to choose the right school and get started! I like that as soon as someone hears what I plan to become they automatically think, "Oh yeah, I can really see you doing that!" :-) All I really need is to maintain good motivation!

Going to the beach tomorrow/today with Jen, Pascual & Sara and maybe Tyler. Need to get up around 8:30 so I can be at Jen's at 9:30 and we can leave at 10. I should go to bed... :-/ Buuut I should pack myself a day bag and get a snack first.

Saw 9 tonight. Very impressed!

I forgot that I was gonna take a shower before work and spent all my time on the internet... oops.

So, Mt Angel Oktoberfest is coming up... anyone want to join me on either Thursday the 17th or Friday the 19th?

Seeing a monster f-ing huge spider in my room ruins the whole concept of sleep for me. This was last night... still paranoid! I'm even checking under the bed with a flashlight and have my comforter tucked into the sides of my bed. I'm pathetic. It gets better though! I'm not even 100 percent sure it was real! Yeah I was wide awake, etc. but when I thought I had it squashed there was no evidence it was ever there. Maybe tonight I can sleep a little better. Maybe tonight I won't wake up a dozen times feeling like something is crawling on me! Maybe I will be paranoid all week!

Late night tv sucks. I just can't sit through infomercials like I used to! I miss the turbo cooker... Also, True Blood OMFG serious win! Can't believe there is only one more episode in the season! Evan Rachael Wood makes a great vampire Queen. She appears to have put on a little weight, but HOT DAMN that is some gooooood weight!

Ok I need to attempt to sleep now... just gotta check under the covers to make sure there are no silver-dollar-sized spiders in my bed!

I started poking around the internet at beauty schools today... I just don't want them to be really expensive without really being worth it. I did see on one website where there is an open house on Sept 2nd, which I just happen to have the day off. I should go and ask questions. Anyone want to accompany me? I think I'm really serious about doing this. I'm just so tired of hating my job and how much it seems to be kicking my ass lately. I want to do something fun and more worthwhile. Also, I'm seeing things talking about a need for cosmetologists and how the unemployment rate for them is pretty much zero.

Anyway, back to slacking off the rest of the day.

Sometimes I miss updating more often... but it seems like every time I want to write something, I can't think of anything to write! I feel like I never do anything fun and exciting anymore... like whatever happened to the idea of writing and singing with Alex? When was the last time I went to a bar?

The reason: I never have money. Ever. After my bills are paid I have barely anything left. I need a damn vacation... I get less hours at work but I still feel overworked! I'm really tired of putting up with all the bullshit day in and day out at my job. November seems so far away at this point but I know it will be here faster than I can save up for it.

I need a new and better job. I need a goal, a plan... a career... I've been thinking a lot about going to beauty school lately. I think I would probably really enjoy being a hair stylist. What do you guys think? Can you see me cutting and styling hair for a living? I love trying new styles on my own hair and I like playing with different hair products when I can...

I am so tired of working... it might not be so bad if there wasn't so much stress and pressure at work lately. I hate inventory, and we so much less prepared for it than normal. Why the HELL did they let 2 of 3 people in the department go on vacation at once?! Are they retarded? I really hate my job sometimes, and I especially hate it right now. Buuuut I do need the money! I'm gonna have to buy a plane ticket to Chicago soon! The plan is me, Alex and probably Alan will fly there in early November and drive back in the convertible that Alex is getting from his grandpa. Apparently cross-country road trips are just going to be my regular November thing from now on! You know, since it was November last year that Jen and I drove from New Jersey... so, who wants to go next year?! (any volunteers must be on the east coast and have a car to drive to Vancouver, though) Anyways, if we act soon we can get one way tix to Chicago for only $100.

Stress is making me feel sick...

A lot of birthdays today... so Happy Birthday to Blake, Megan, Ethan and my mom!

(Even though some on the list don't read this...)

They made a Tru Blood beverage to sell that looks like the ones on the show... and it's blood orange flavored. I am amused... and super excited for this weeks episode!

In other news, today has been busy! First I slept really, really late, then I watched a movie and then got down to business. I cleaned out the other side of my bed (the part you can't really see) and took down my old nasty curtains. I then proceeded to get a rag and a bucket of water with some cleaner and cleaned all the dust and cobwebs off the top of my blinds and the walls by the window. I even wiped down the baseboard heater that doesn't work. Good lord what a difference that made! Next I trimmed and ironed my new bitchin' curtains from Ikea and hung them. They look pretty rad! And the color compliments the room very well. :-D

Now I'm working on hanging up the rest of my lights, but this last string will require me to get more cup hooks to hang them.

Tonight after work I ventured to Walmart to buy some cup hooks to hang my Ikea mesh hangy thing. While there I ran into Jessica James from high school (twice now in one week I have ran into people from high school, wtf?). She looks almost exactly the same! Ran into Neli Petra the other day too and so does she. I think I'm recognizeable, but I don't think think the same at all... or maybe I'm just delusional. :-P It was cool to chat with her though! Every time I run into someone from high school they are either married or have kids (or both). It's a little weird, but I guess we're all at that age. Not me though, I'm happy where I am.

So anyways, I bought the cup hooks (and Big Bang Mini on the DS cause it was the cheapest I've seen it) and came home and got to work. Ok ok, so I sat around on the internet first, but I did accomplish something so who cares... It took me a while to actually find the stud in my slanty ceiling, but I did and the hook went in really easy. Now I'm really glad I decided to buy the mesh thingy at Ikea because it looks pretty rad. Also, the stud ended up being exactly where I wanted it.

Next job - hanging curtains!

But for now, I think I might go see Jordan... and find food...

Productive days off! Yesterday was spent trying to figure out how to finish painting my skateboard... today it looks amazing and we can probably put the trucks and stuff back on later tonight! Alex, you will be so jealous! I think I'm gonna buy those wall hooks at Ikea and store it on my wall in my room, that's how awesome it looks.

Today I have taken out my trash, recycled my bottles (45 of 50 Viso caps for free t-shirt!), put away all my laundry I washed yesterday, put boxes into my attic... I think it's about time to shower and go get Jordan so we can hit up Camas Days and say hi to Stacy and her mom at their booth.

I feel good. And I dyed my hair again the other night... the last color was way too light. I feel so much more comfortable with darker hair!



hungry hungry hungry