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03 February 2016 @ 02:38 pm
Life updates I guess!  
Welcome back to LiveJournal, Heather! Haha.

I haven't posted since a long ago turmoil with Cody before he ever told me he loved me (he did not long after that post BTW)... Well, flash forward to now and we have been broken up since Christmas. Yep. That was my Christmas present. Whatever. I guess I'm still annoyed by his poor timing, but I'm not sad. Not anymore at least. In typical Heather fashion, I got over that shit quickly. In any case, he moved out of the apartment back to his mom's where I'm sure he will stay forever most likely, because why would he want to move out of a place where his mommy does everything for him? I mean, she pays his bills for him and lets him do whatever he wants and just continuously enables him to never completely grow up. Boooo! Let's talk about something else...

Me. Where am I at? I'm happy, basically. Not sad, as I previously mentioned. Well, sad that my cat seems to hate my bedroom and cries if I bring her in here... But I'm good! I downloaded Tinder out of boredom, which only kinda freaks me out. Every time there is a match I tense up like, oh god do I have to talk to this person now? Needless to say, I'm not going out of my way to message these guys. I talked to a few, one made me blush with a compliment by saying I seemed to fit his style. Why did I let that convo fizzle out? He had cool hair and played bass and loved horror movies! Oh well. Other convos fizzled out too. But! One did not! I've been talking to him for 3 days now, and we have moved the talking over to facebook where it's easier (and more personal if you ask me). I really enjoy talking to him! Like... really, really enjoy it. I'm giddy with anticipation, quite frankly. I want to meet him... but that sorta scares me. The self-conscious side of me is afraid I'm not his type body-wise and whatnot. I mean... I guess to say it one way, I'm not body confident right now. I have a hard time looking at myself and feeling sexy lately. Merp. That shouldn't matter. But it worries me nonetheless. Now back to this guy!

Names are not important right now, for whoever is reading. He's cute in his pics... alternative kinda guy into synth and gothy things. Brand spanking new to Portland, which means anywhere I take him will be new and exciting, yes? hehe. Has a place, works a job blah blah blah who cares. He loves horror movies. I don't he would find it weird to take a late night walk in a cemetery. /swoon! We've even exchanged puns! This is something that doesn't excite many people, but it works on me! He spells all of his messages correctly and uses punctuation... Why is this important? It just is. I haven't been excited like this in so long! Maybe nothing happens, maybe it does... maybe we hook up a few times... I don't know. For all I know we will meet and fall in love etc. etc. etc. Do I want that?

What do I want? I don't know! An adult, definitely. Someone with a car so I don't always have to drive. Someone to cuddle with, watch Netflix, go to concerts with! Go to interesting clubs, go on adventures with... Explore food and brew and everything wonderful. Someone I can make plans with. I don't know if I'm fully ready to start something new, since it's barely been over a month, but I'm not getting any younger. I'm sick of wasting my time on people that don't want the same things as me! I want someone to build a life with. I want a partner, in every sense of the word. No mental problems or inability to pay attention. Someone who can treat me well, offer up some consistent romance. And in turn, I will do the same for them.

What if this guy I am talking to ends up being the one? I won't ever know if I don't get out here and meet him. And so what if he isn't either. But... I don't think I should jump into a relationship with anyone that isn't going to want any of the same things I do. I don't want to end up a year or two or three down the road with another failed attempt. I'm turning 32 this year, so the universe can stop wasting my time already! The sooner you meet your life partner, the more time you get to spend with them. I'm such a Ted sometimes. But I'm in search of my own Marshal & Lily kind of love. :-)

Thanks for reading! Maybe I'll post again soon and start this LJ back up.
 
 
I'm feeling...: anxiousanxious
 
 
Heather Joneszerocoolphreak on February 4th, 2016 06:46 am (UTC)
Much better things!