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06 November 2008 @ 07:03 am
The list - Are you on it?  
You know those icons floating around LJ, the ones that say "LiveJournal - We know drama"? I want one that turns into "Myspace - The drama will follow you." :-P Apparently it's truce time, though the so-called "war" never should have even happened..... now it's time for Heather's thoughts. Uncensored.

Jen Z - You had no right. Just because the two of you are fucking, doesn't mean you can just attack me. What do you even know about the last year of mine and Nathan's relationship? Oh, just the things he has told you since we broke up? You mean the angry hurtful things he is probably saying about me to you? Yeeeaaahhh.... that's right. You guys deserve each other. I always knew I was the only thing standing in your way. I'm still open to continue communication with you, and I don't hate you... but you did piss me off. Do me a favor and JUST STAY OUT OF IT. Unless it specifically involves you, it is all between Nathan and I (and no one else).

Nathan - WTF? You sick your new/old fucktoy on me? For what? Oh, to give me anxiety problems that make it difficult for me to function at work? I couldn't breathe very well and my heart would not stop racing... all because I had to deal with you and your whorde (spelled with a 'w' on purpose, get the joke?) in an online battle. What is the fucking point?!? You give me health problems that I would rather not have. I have kept myself censored on here just so it wouldn't start any problems... the mushroom post was not intended for your eyes, I removed you from the filter, but seem to have forgotten to remove your music journal from it. Whatever, deal with it. You were the one prying, and did it make you happy? No more censoring from my end. I'm "purging" my censorship, so to speak. I am not trying to rub anything in your face. It's my journal, I should be able to talk about my life. My life is good right now, so that's what your going to see. And yes, we can be friends, but I think we should either wait a bit, or just take it very slow. Also, I would like my hookah and polka dot dishes and can you check the bottom shelf part of the coffee table for Sailor Moon vol 2? I admit I haven't gotten through the whole bag of stuff, but I haven't seen it yet and I am pretty sure you probably missed it 'cause I don't think you knew that it was hiding under the coffee table..... and I think I will be giving the candle stuff to Jacy and you can get it from her or Kris... I am almost done with Speaker for the Dead, so whenever you want that back... and let me know when your brother is done with the 2nd Twilight book.

Megan - I see the part where you meant well in your comment... but I don't think it did anybody any good. I never compared Nathan to excrement, and never intended to. You can purge many things, you know. Like you could purge air from an oxygen tank, as an example. I think you were the only one comparing him to excrement, though I know you don't think that and definitely did not intend to do so.

Alex - You are the only one who is totally neutral. You truly do not choose sides and that rocks. I know that when you talk to us individually, you can identify with our points and agree to some extent, but you don't discriminate. Also, hanging out tonight was awesome, we must do more of this! How long has it been since we just drove around listening to music??? Reminds me of when we met!

Jen (my jen) - Much love to you! You are an awesome friend and I can't wait to see you Saturday night!!

Ethan - I enjoyed your articulate and supportive comment!

Stephanie - I <3ed your comment. I agree, my sin is only that I have a developed vocabulary. Smart Heather FTW!

Brian O - I heard a rumor that there's going to be a Thundercats movie! And thanks for the comment, too! We should hang out some time and watch cartoons.

Big Matt - Thank you for the support in both Myspace and LJ!

Derek - Journalism FTW!

Nathan & Jen Z. both - Woooooooow.... I so knew that was going to happen. hahahahahahahahaha LAWL I cannot tell you how amused I am at the news of you two. It's pretty f-ing funny, to tell you the truth! Like I said above, I always knew I was the only thing standing in your way. Best of luck, I guess?

Jared - I will not quit LJ! :-P No wai. <3

Time for bed now.
I'm feeling...: crazycrazy
Heather Joneszerocoolphreak on November 21st, 2008 02:59 am (UTC)
worth discussing part 2, conclusion
You have not been a friend to me at all in any of this. You have not talked to me, except to place judging comments on my myspace and LJ, so what was I to think when Nathan "claimed" you and said you were his friend and not mine? He was the one that told me that you chose him and only him over being friends with both of us. If he lied, then you need to deal with him for being deceptive. I don't ask my friends to always agree with me... My best friends Stacy and Keith never agreed with my decision to stay with Nathan after he cheated on me... they never liked him and did not know why I was still with him... I did not hate them for their difference of opinion concerning my choices. I am glad that you were there for Nathan when he was hurting and I'm glad that you are still his friend. I was not glad, however, that you never once tried to contact me or ask me how I was doing. Your actions spoke loud and clear to me once Nathan "claimed" you. I'm sorry that I was deeply upset about it, and yes I'm sure I overreacted a little... but come on. I thought you were my friend, and then I get a nice stab telling me that maybe you really weren't my friend anymore? Of course I felt hurt and betrayed!

As far as how I have been acting lately... I very seriously do not think I have done anything that bad. I do not object to Nathan and Jen. I am happy for them, honestly. I simply expressed my concerns with how she has been treating Alex and told Nathan "hey, be careful, I know firsthand how she can be..." He got way too defensive and overreacted. Then he posts our conversation on his LJ, which he did NOT ask if I was ok with. He proved to me once again how little respect he has for me. Alex calls me, freaking out over how Nathan got mad at him for nothing. I read the comments, I see Nathan yelling at Alex for no reason, I respond. I do not think that I said anything horrible, but Nathan got defensive and said some really mean things to me once again. I do not deserve that at all! I do not deserve to constantly be called names and told to lick Donut's asshole and suck a dick or be called a sociopath (wtf??)

Do you even care that Nathan was stalking me? I really think he his crazy sometimes... and honestly, it scares me. He seriously f-ing scares me! He would actually get really violent when we had arguements when we were together and throw stuff at me, Megan. I was so scared sometimes that he might have actually hurt me... I don't think I ever told you that. I was actually afraid, after we broke up... I was afraid he would try and do something horrible to me. I'm lucky that he merely decided to stalk me by hanging around Jared's apartment and try listening through the back door (yes, nathan admitted this to me and others). I do not deserve to fear for my safety because I have a crazy ex-boyfriend! Did you know about any of that? Did you wonder how I was doing? I felt so betrayed and deserted by you. It seemed like we were actually good friends at one time, but now I am not so sure. I don't see how you could not have a problem with what Nathan has done to me. All you ever said was that you had a problem with me and my actions... but Nathan was innocent?? Nathan did nothing wrong? Please do not tell me that you think he did nothing wrong. I acted out of defense, and yes, I said some hurtful things, but so did he. Actually, I think what he has said to me has been way worse than anything I have said to him... especially since I did not call him names. I am far too intelligent to have to instantly resort to name-calling the way Nathan has.

This reply is getting so exhausting... I have actually tried not to cry a few times. But this is my side of the story. I don't want to be your friend if you can't support my decisions (you don't have to agree with them, but I ask that you at least support me, or hush up after you have said your piece and let me do what I am going to do). I don't want to be your friend if you just sit back and let people attack me and call me names, and then jump to the defense of the person who has attacked me. If these are things that you can't do, then let me know. I do want to be your friend, Megan... and I want you to actually be my friend. I guess the rest is up to you.