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07 November 2008 @ 04:44 am
3 years of lies all out in the open  
Well then... I have had an interesting day. Got 4 hours of sleep before being woken up by multiple texts from Nathan. He has decided to be civil again. I met up with Mike for coffee at the Grind, then Nathan came by to chill with us. Mike migrated home and Nathan and I had the chance to really talk. It's weird, but him and I are in the same place right now. We both fully believe we are better off friends. That's what we always seemed to be good with, we just couldn't get the relationship part down. Also, all of my suspicions over the last 3 years turned out to be true. All of my insecurities were for good reason. He lied to me more than I even thought... lied to me when he said he was in love with me. Though at some point (6 months ago) he claims to have really fallen in love with me. WTF? He was the one that called love so early in the relationship! I guess this better explains why he cheated on me...? He tells me now that he never actually wanted a serious relationship. I suspected this many times, and I even called him on it many times, but he always assured me that he did. These things would have been nice to know! I do feel a little like some of my time was wasted... but whatever. It's all in the past now. I am way more intuitive than I give myself credit for.

I didn't think Nathan and I would get to this place so fast. We actually enjoyed each other's company. We are already making jokes about our relationship! There were some negative things said too, but we parted on good terms. He is happy that I am happy, and that is awesome. Him and Jen - it's a little weird - but I'm happy for him. It's good to know that I won't be losing him as a friend and that we can be in the same place at the same time and hang out with our mutual friends.

I am happy. And very tired... why the hell am I up so late? I've been slowly writing this for a few hours now... I just keep spacing out. Need sleep now.
I'm feeling...: hopefulhopeful
Nathannatetheoriginal on November 7th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
I was lieing to myself to.

You're awesome. :-) ...things are indeed so much better this way. Now that we are driving parallel again, instead of crowding each others lanes. I am sorry you feel like I wasted your time. But I think that if you look at how everything has happened, things couldn't have really happened any other way then how they have, in order to come to such wonderful conclusion for both of us.

Everything is how it is. And everything is wonderful. You are wonderful, and don't you ever change.
dirtylittleflydirtylittlefly on November 8th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
You go to the GRIND????

I freaking love that place. I set up with my computer, a cuppa jo and pretend to do homework.