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21 December 2008 @ 12:01 am
Ah... thoughts...  
As soon as I came home the bad energy thrust itself upon me. :-( I instantly felt couped up and lonely. I think it's pretty safe to say that I missed Jared these last few days... he somehow just makes all the nasty feelings I have just melt away. I've been feeling pretty down lately... then tack on all the excess drama that I just cannot seem to get away from. I am so sick of all of it! You all just need to disappear. I don't need all your negative energy and mood swings. You know, since Nathan has been out of my life, I have not been angry with people or all that moody (except of course for when everyone reigned their drama all over me). Nathan brought out the worst in me and stressed me out more than I even knew. I think I had high blood pressure because of him! No really, I used to have problems with chest pains when I was with him, which I have read is an indicator that your blood pressure might be high... yeah I have had absolutely no chest pains at all since then. I didn't realize how negatively Nathan had been affecting my health! I know a lot of you saw me in nastier mood swings and arguments with him over the years, but that really isn't me or what I'm about. He just stressed me out too much... and pushed all the wrong buttons. It's refreshing now to know that it wasn't all just me. I am not a horrible moody bitch. :-P I really feel free to be myself now. Extra geeky, flirty whatever. It's all me again. Just Heather, no artificial ingredients.

I'm feeling somewhat miserable at home now. Maybe tomorrow I will try playing in the snow... but I hate playing in the snow by myself. Maybe if Brad is still staying down the road he will play in the snow with me. Or maybe it will stop snowing and the roads will clear up and I can go hang out with whoever, wherever. Yes, this would be nice. Tonight I will just have to settle for a movie and some ice cream and my kitty.

Widerstandcircuitsjournal on December 22nd, 2008 01:34 pm (UTC)
It's good to hear your doing well... Hows that cat?
Heather Joneszerocoolphreak on December 22nd, 2008 01:54 pm (UTC)
Well, he's getting pretty old... but he seems to still be pretty healthy, at least as far as I can tell.