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26 January 2010 @ 12:48 am
So I'm lying to myself... I'm saying que sera (or however you spell that) and I really don't mean it. I just set off bigtime by facebook chat... but I know that's not the real reason I've been set off. It's my mind and heart coming to terms with this whole thing with Chase. I feel like maybe I fucked it up without even realizing it... What Chase said to me and what he appears to have shared with Mike when he was drunk seem a little different... and now... now I'm just filled with regret and remorse!

I need a stiff drink and a cigarette. I may be capable of bouncing back from these things very fast and easily, but that doesn't mean I don't still want more.