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04 November 2012 @ 08:35 pm
Stuff and Things  
There's nothing wrong with moving on quickly. It's how I've always been! All of my mutual friends with Pete seem to understand it, too, so that's good. It's just that when I break up with a person, it's usually a build-up... and part of the build-up is me getting over it before it's really even done. I'll admit that life has felt stranger than usual, but I'm happy where I am now.


I really am. I haven't rushed out trying to jump into anything, and I plan on taking my time with various endeavors. Such endeavors may include Wes... *swoon* I can't help it! He does things to me... makes me feel so nervous! It feels like I'm an inexperienced teenager or something. I'd say that I can't remember the last time a guy made me this nervous, but it's not true. The last time was with Chase. There are butterflies, and all butterflies feel amazing, but then there are nervous butterflies. These are the things worth looking for! Chase had an effect like that on me... but with Wes it feels different. I get so nervous to see him, and I don't know what to do or how to be. It kinda knocks me off my feet a little. But at the same time, there's a relaxing feeling about it. I'm so afraid to make the first move because I don't want to be too forward or scare him off. Not to say that a move hasn't been made, because it has... it was by him though. I'm letting him take the reigns on this because I truly don't want to jump right into something new. I'm keeping my options open! But at the same time, I'm not, because he's the only one I really like in that way. Unless I meet someone else who shifts my whole world, I'm just going to keep riding this train.

He makes me smile like a giddy schoolgirl. :-)

Do I feel guilty for whatever this may or may not be? Not really. I feel kinda bad knowing that this is easier for me than it is for Pete, but I don't think I can change that. I'm not flirting with guys in front of him or trying to tell him about my endeavors... and I'm not posting things on Facebook about guys or flirting where he could see and feel hurt. I want to have a friendship with him when he's ready. Maybe we could even be friends the way Jordan and I are now? Maybe that will only happen after Pete has found someone else... Lots of maybes. Only time will tell!

But for now, I'm going to live my life for me and keep on enjoying it!
I'm feeling...: cheerfulcheerful